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Season One

1. Pilot
   This is a story about Michael Bluth. For ten years, he's waited for his father to make him a partner in the family's company. The rest of the family includes Michael's mother Lucille, his sister Lindsay, whom he hasn't spoken with in over a year, brother Gob, an amateur magician and finally, youngest brother Buster, who spends all of his time taking graduate classes in fields such as Native American Drumming and Cartography. But none of this bothers Michael. Because he's decided not to speak to these people anymore.
   
   But Michael was feeling more generous on the morning of his father's retirement boat party. With his son, George Michael, he discussed the sure-to-come announcement of his promotion. After dropping his son off at the frozen banana stand his father started, Michael went to see Gob to ask for his check to cover party expenses. Gob asks why the party can't just be written off to the company. After all, Lindsay's been staying at the Four Seasons for a month and the company's probably paying for that.
   
   Upset by both Lindsay's avoidance of him and her abuse of the company's largess, Michael goes to the hotel to tell his mother and Lindsay the company checkbook is closing. Tobias Funke, Lindsay's husband, then enters. Tobias lost his medical license for administering CPR to somebody who, in fact, was not having a heart attack.
   
   While Michael was getting fed up with his family, George Michael was finally getting to know them in the form of his cousin Maeby. The kids discuss how they never see each other, and Maeby suggests they make out at the boat party to teach them a lesson that they need to see each other more often.
   
   Back at the hotel, Tobias, believing that the boat party was pirate-themed because of a joke from Michael, began trying on Lindsay's blouses. Then mistaking a group of garishly-dressed men for pirates, he boarded a van full of homosexuals.
   
   Finally, Michael's big moment came. Until the Bluth patriarch, George, puts the Bluth matriarch in charge of the company. Shoved over the breaking point, Michael decides it's time to move on. The family is about to pose for a photo when the SEC raids the ship. George Bluth calls his secretary with instructions on what to shred and what to keep. Lindsay takes command of the boat and Lucille tells Buster to find a channel to the ocean on the maps. Buster can only offer certainty that the blue part of the map is land before a panic attack sets in. The SEC hauls George Bluth away, leaving the family in turmoil.
   
   At the police station, Tobias joins up with the family and reveals that the men on the other boat with him were not pirates, but in fact actors from the local theatre. Believing that a path has been shown to him, Tobias informs the family that's he decided to become an actor. Michael then comes out, informs the family that dad is being kept in jail, and the SEC is putting a halt on the company's expense account, which terrifies everyone.
   
   Facing adversity, Lucille decides to put Buster in charge. This is too much for Michael, who accepts a job in Arizona with a rival development company. But when Buster discovers his academic pursuits didn't prepare him for running a big company, the family turns to Michael, begging for his help. Michael rejects their imposition, but Lindsay says he should visit their father before leaving.
   
   Michael does indeed visit his father in jail, asking why he wasn't put in charge. George informs that he put Lucille in charge because they can't arrest a husband and wife for the same crime. Which isn't true. George curses the advice of his horrible attorneys.
   
   At the model home, Lindsay is seeing what she can grab and sell when she comes across George Michael. He opens up his heart, saying he wished the family could see each other more often, and when Michael oversees this, he makes a decision. They're going to stay here in California, give this family thing a shot and try to save the family business.
    
2. Top Banana
   Another setback for the once-prominent Bluth family. Their historic Banana Stand has burned to the ground. Whodunit? The answer to this mystery started one week earlier as Michael worked hard to keep the company afloat. Michael's newest plan is make sure the corporate jet was only used for business, then it can become a tax write off. Lindsay's newest plan is to encourage Michael and Gob to lay around.
   
   Michael drops by the prison and explains his plan to George Sr. George explains "that there's always money in the Banana Stand" and introduces his cellmate, T-Bone, who is a flamer. T-Bone's getting out today, how about giving him a job? Michael doesn't think that's such a good idea.
   
   George Michael is still having trouble with his crush Maeby living in the same room, so he asks for more hours at the Banana Stand. Michael responds by promoting George Michael to manager and gives him the green light to hire an employee. Seeing Tobias, Lindsay and Gob still lazing on the couch, Michael asks what they're doing to find work. Lindsay says her job is supporting her husband, so Michael, wanting to set an example, has his son hire Maeby as his Banana Stand employee.
   
   Maeby spends her first day taking money from the register and throwing out bananas. Meanwhile, Michael drops in on his mother in his quest to locate the flight records. She knows they're in a storage unit, but doesn't know where that is. Something with a "Dale?" It's hot there. Also, could he give Gob some work so he can feel special?
   
   The next day, Tobias, motivated by Michael's call to action, looked for work. Michael sees him sitting at a newsstand, despondent that he can't find work, and points out a flyer advertising Open Auditions. Tobias snatches it and Michael spots another flyer that gives him an idea for how to get his mother to lead him to the storage unit. He calls her and says the IRS wants to drop by and check if she recently bought any big ticket items. He then follows Luce, the maid, as she tries to hide the evidence.
   
   Meanwhile, Tobias had arranged an audition for a local commercial and Lindsay went along for support. But when Roger Danish, the casting director, spotted Lindsay, whom he knows from high school, Lindsay got the role. At the same time, Michael arrives at the storage unit only to find it in flames. A firefighter informs him that it was definitely the work of a flamer.
   
   At home, Lindsay giddily informs Michael of her new acting role and Tobias tries to put on a brave face, then excuses himself to cry in the shower. Michael confides to Lindsay that he thinks George Sr. is trying to run the company from prison, so he's heading off to confront the old man. On the way out, he gives Gob a very important job. Mailing a letter. See, it's so important, Michael can't trust a mailman with it.
   
   Michael confronts George Sr. and says you're not running the company and you can't give T-Bone a job. Again, dad advises that there's always money in the banana stand and when Michael informs him George Michael is running the banana stand, an idea strikes. George Michael, say hello to your new employee, T-Bone. Maeby uses that as an opening to ditch the stand for dinner.
   
   Lucille then pressures Michael to give Gob some real work. Of course, unbeknownst to Michael, rather than mail the letter, Gob defiantly hurled it into the sea. Eventually. Interestingly, Lindsay then takes her mother to dinner at the same restaurant where her daughter is also celebrating work she hasn't done with money she doesn't have. At dinner, George Michael begins to add up the numbers and panics when he realizes his dad will obviously know they've been stealing money. Maeby tells him to relax and just figure out what pop-pop would do in this situation.
   
   Michael drops by the Banana Stand and sees T-Bone at the helm. His dad is running the banana stand now too. Frustrated, Michael heads to the beach to think when Gob confronts him about being treated like a goofball. Michael says don't worry, dad still treats him like an employee. At that moment, Maeby calls Michael to inform him George Michael is about to do something irresponsible.
   
   Michael arrives at the Banana Stand to find his son crumpling up newspaper around the stand to use as kindling. George Michael admits that he screwed up the Banana Stand and he's sorry, but Michael tells him to light it up anyway. That'll show dad! Watching the blaze, Michael asks Gob if he mailed that insurance check. Later, in jail, Michael gloats that he torched the Banana Stand and he should remember who's in charge now. Irate, George Sr. tells his son that "there's always money in the Banana Stand" means the walls of the stand were lined with $250,000 in cash.
    
3. Bringing Up Buster
   It was Sunday morning and Michael was busy making Cornballs, a Bluth family favorite since George Sr. unsuccessfully tried to market the product in the late '70s. Unsuccessfully because without fail, the hot oil burned whoever was making the Cornballs. George Michael came down and Michael eagerly discussed their Sunday bike ride, but George Michael wasn't so keen on going.
   
   Gob trots in, fresh from another fight with Marta, the Spanish language soap star who is his sometimes girlfriend. Gob will be staying with Michael for awhile but doesn't get the high five he was looking for on that one. Lindsay says that's because Michael feels bad for suffocating his son. Teenagers need to roam free! Speaking of teenagers, Tobias finds out that his daughter Maeby is auditioning for the school play. Tobias believes that Maeby is reaching out toward her actor father, when in fact she's reaching out to a boy at school named Steve Holt. Coincidentally, George Michael is also trying out for the play to get the chance to kiss his cousin.
   
   Worried his son was slipping away, Michael bought him a new bike. Worried that he might never slip away, Lucille was beginning to resent Buster's constant presence. With funds at a low, his studies were permanently on hold, meaning he was around the house an awful lot. Lucille calls Michael and chides him for not spending more time with his brother. Give Buster a job at the company or something.
   
   At school, Tobias drops in on a horrified Maeby. Who is even more horrified when it's revealed that Tobias is the play's new director. Tobias himself is horrified by the lack of chemistry between George Michael and Maeby and thinks he has hit upon something. George Michael is gay. In a stroke of genius, Tobias gives George Michael Steve's role, and gives Steve Maeby's role of Beatrice.
   
   Michael drops by to visit his father to see what to do about his son and realizes he has to let his kid go. Michael then tries to adjust to less time with George Michael by spending more time with Buster. That ends poorly when Buster crashes his bike.
   
   Frustrated by Tobias' direction, George Michael quits the play. Which Tobias salvages by casting Maeby as the lead male opposite Steve Holt as the lead female. Over at Bluth Co., Lucille caught word from Lindsay that Buster said she was withholding and barges into the office to take Buster back home. She then advises Michael to hold tight to her son like she does with Buster, but he decided to take a more restrained tack.
   
   In the end, Maeby discovered she didn't like kissing Steve Holt, and Michael returned home to find a contrite George Michael ready to Cornball with his old man. Naturally, the hot oil burns Michael.
    
4. Visiting Ours
   Michael Bluth was visiting his father in prison, anxious to get to bottom of suspicious bookkeeping. George Sr. was also anxious, but more about the quality of the prison softball team. Frustrated by his father, Michael returned to the office and came across George Sr.'s loyal assistant Kitty, who he suspected might have the information he needed.
   
   Lucille called her son with an emergency. Their club membership had been downgraded to "pool members." Horrified by pool food, Lucille ordered her son to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Gob was noisily moving a desk into an office so he could write a strongly-worded letter to the prison warden, who decried the legitimacy of Gob's "escape" from his walls. Noticing Kitty's obvious attraction to Gob, Michael set about the business of manipulation.
   
   Meanwhile, Lindsay and Tobias, who were having a tough time in their marriage, prepared for their first session with a therapist. Maeby and George Michael decided to follow them, but George Michael was reluctant to drive because he didn't want to get in any trouble, which could hamper his stated goal of visiting George Sr. In reality, George Michael was terrified of prison since he watched HBO's prison drama Oz after mistaking it for The Wizard Of Oz.
   
   Michael arrived home, elated by the fact that Gob's seduction of Kitty would get him the information he needed and prevent him from having to visit the prison anymore. At least until George Michael told him he wanted to visit Pop Pop. Gob began placing his spell over Kitty while Lindsay and Tobias began examining their marriage for the first time. And Michael headed back to prison for the first time since vowing never to return.
   
   During this visit, it was revealed that Lucille had yet to visit her husband since his sentencing. And it was also revealed that daddy was horny. Michael then paid his mother a visit to persuade her to make a conjugal visit to the prison. Lucille asked her son if he really wanted this. Wanted it bad enough to get her, say, a golf membership?
   
   Lindsay and Tobias were getting to the heart of their relationship with a role-reversal game. Which Tobias dove headlong into. But when Lindsay balked at it, the therapist jumped into the role of reverse Tobias. After passionately acting out their reverse roles, Tobias and the male therapist were about to make out until Lindsay brought the scene to an end.
   
   Michael arrived home, happy to have a brother he could share the news of his day with. Except Gob was violently repulsed by the thought of his parents sharing a conjugal trailer. But Gob had some good news. He $%^ed Kitty. Michael asked if he also got the information about the international accounts, which he didn't. So Michael decided to hold out on Gob's office supplies until the job was done.
   
   Michael dropped by the prison again, this time with his mother and the news that "I took it upon myself to bring her." A surprised and grateful George Sr. opened the trailer door, only to be shocked to see his wife. You see, he had Kitty waiting for him in the other trailer. George Michael asked his son for his help, and Michael wondered if the help was international accounts information worthy. Coming to the rescue, Michael called Gob to ask him to come to the prison.
   
   But he was already at the prison. To deliver his strongly-worded letter to the warden. Gob tried to stall Kitty, but then decided he had to do the right thing. So he kicked out the bathroom window and snuck out of the trailer. But on the way back to his car, he ran into the warden, who had just read his strongly-worded letter. And so Gob was detained against the window of the trailer in which his parents were being intimate.
    
5. Key Decisions
   Michael Bluth arrived home to find the rental car his sister Lindsay had promised to return. He explains to her that they need to cut back. He's even selling the corporate jet. Gob comes in, desperate for freedom from his telenovela-starring girlfriend, Marta. She's been nominated for a daytime Desi award, and he wants to ditch the ceremony. Michael implores the importance of family upon him, but the message is lost. Lucille drops by, looking for her tickets to the award show. Buster will be her date tonight. And Lucille wonders when Michael will have a date of his own again.
   
   Michael did sell the corporate jet and replaced it with new transportation. An airport staircase car used to board people on runways. Watching the news later, Michael learns that an activist, Johnny Bark, is living in a tree to protest the upcoming Bluth development. Michael meets with his sister to help get Johnny Bark out of the tree. She resists, but when he appeals to her desire to get rid of the stair car, she decides to intervene.
   
   The next day, Michael gets a call to meet Gob at the prison holding their father. Gob is going inside, only to escape 24 hours later to get some publicity for his magic act. Because he'll be on the inside, Gob can't go to Marta's award show. He thanks Michael for coming through on that, although Michael has no idea what he means.
   
   Meanwhile, Lindsay set about fulfilling her promise to Michael. George Sr. was surprised to see his son join him in the prison. And Michael was about to get a surprise visit of his own: Marta. Apparently, Michael was Marta's date for the night. While Lindsay tells Johnny Bark the tree is coming down with or without him, the Desis were underway. And since Michael drove Marta to the show in the stair car, Lindsay was stranded in the tree. Backstage, Lucille and Buster were mingling with the elite of Latino television. But on Lucille's orders, Buster wasn't wearing his glasses. That's when Lucille Bluth crossed paths with Lucille Lostero, who suffers from severe vertigo.
   
   Lucille, seeing him without his glasses, first took notice of Buster. Buster, however, failed to take notice of her, so she sent him a proposition. Reading the note, Buster frantically looked around for its author.
   
   In the auditorium, Marta lost out on her award and scuttled off in shame. Michael consoled her, but she says it's not about the award. She just wanted to make Gob proud. At that moment, Michael realized this was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And for the first time since losing his wife, he wanted someone.
   
   Gob was finally ready to achieve his escape. He looked for a bathroom, not knowing the only available toilet was in his cell in plain sight. He can't use that. He needs privacy! He's always needed privacy! Gob begins to think he's made a huge mistake. Still stuck in the tree, Lindsay reflects about how she used to believe in things. Michael returns with the stair car, but Lindsay says she's not coming down. She must save the tree!
   
   At home that night, Buster is gloating over his new, as of yet unseen, girlfriend. He loves her. Buster explains that sometimes when you find love, you just have to grab hold. His words sink into to Michael's mind. Michael then gets a desperate call from Gob. Meet me at the prison and bring the stair car. Michael shows up on his bike and asks Gob about his commitment to Marta. Is there a future there? The guards, worried about the paperwork they'd have to fill out if Gob tried to jump the wall, come out and taser him and Michael takes off.
   
   Lindsay spent the night in her bed, not the tree, and Johnny Bark came down to reveal his love for her. When he did, bulldozers plowed the tree. On his own mission, Michael went to visit Marta. But when she gets a call that Gob was knifed in the prison yard by White Power Bill, she heads for the hospital. Waiting in the hallway outside Gob's room, Buster comes across Lucille Lostero. When she repeats her advance, he takes off his glasses and to his horror, realizes who he thinks he's in love with.
   
   In his room, Gob tells Michael that life is short, so he's going to patch things up with Marta. Which is funny, because he was going to walk out of prison last night and break up with her. Michael finds that less than hilarious.
    
6. Charity Drive
   With most of the family's cars impounded by the SEC, Michael was forced to ride his bike to work, which caused problems with his presentation to some of the Bluth Company investors. Like when he dripped sweat from his hot bike ride onto a slide and smeared it.
   
   Michael realizes he needs a car and also that he just lied to the investors because, in fact, his father never did file the proper permits. When he finds out that Gob has been secretly driving their father's car, he confronts him about it at the banana stand. Fed up by Gob's deception, Michael doesn't allow him to have the free banana he wants. Gob insists that he should get all the bananas he wants and on top of that, instead of paying for the bananas, Michael can just use his likeness for some sort of Hamburglar-type character for commercials. Mr. Banana Grabber or something. Gob calls Michael selfish and glides off.
   
   Next, Michael tracks down Lindsay for the car. She says she has no time for this because she needs to prepare for a Bachelorette Auction for charity - To save the wetlands - From drying. Lindsay says Michael wouldn't understand since he's not charitable. In the meantime, where's the car? Lindsay thinks Buster has it. It's on the schedule. There's a schedule?
   
   At his mother's house, Michael receives even less support. Why should anybody help him with the car after he was so selfish with Gob's banana? Besides, she has to get ready for the Charity Auction as well. Of course, she doesn't care about the charity. She only cares about getting a higher bid than Lucille Austero. She then gives Buster explicit instructions to bid $10,000 on her. Michael gets the car keys from Buster and he's on his way to the prison to confront his father about the permit issue. George Sr. advises his boy to break into the permit office, slip the application into a folder and tell the permit office they messed up. Have Gob do it.
   
   Michael approaches Gob with his job while Gob is enjoying a candy apple. That just chipped his tooth. Gob will do it on certain conditions: free banana when he wants plus creative control, spin-off rights and theme park approval of Mr. Banana Grabber, Baby Banana Grabber and any other Banana Grabber family character that might emanate there from. He also wants Michael to make up for humiliating Gob in front of George Michael. Michael does by giving Gob a free banana and instructing him to do whatever Uncle Gob wants him to do.
   
   Stung by constant charges of being selfish, Michael decides to do something nice and offer a ride to Lucille's housekeeper. Except it's not her. It's a different woman. A different woman is who is freaked out to now be inside a car filled with the skull Buster found on an archeological dig, the burn marks from a Gob illusion gone bad and the dried streaks from the blood-red nail polish Lindsay spilled.
   
   Gob, meanwhile, was casing the permit office. But his disguise of the new delivery car who whistles through his chipped tooth when he talks didn't work, so he needed a new plan. He orders George Michael to break into the permit office. George Michael is reluctant at first, but Maeby's enthusiasm changes his mind.
   
   Michael gets a call from Lindsay, who begs him to pick her up from the wetlands. Where she tried to prove she cares about the environment, but ended up stabbing a frog and making a crane. At the same time, Lucille Austero was stalking Buster, hoping he was saving up some grand romantic gesture to save their relationship.
   
   Lindsay, running out of time to get to the Charity Auction, called a cab home - but forgot to call Michael. When he arrived at the wetlands, his terrified passenger took off running with the car keys, stranding him.
   
   The Auction starts, and a scratched, scraped, ragged Lindsay isn't fetching any bids. Until Michael pledges $1,000 for her. Lucille then takes the stage. Lucille Austero, that is. Buster comes rushing in and desperately/accidentally bids $10,000 for her. A grand romantic gesture!
   
   Walking to the parking lot following a semi-successful evening, Michael is arrested for the forced abduction of his passenger earlier in the day. And when he's tossed into the back of a squad car, George Michael is sitting there waiting for him. Breaking into the permit office didn't go as cleanly as it could have.
    
7. Visiting Ours
   Michael Bluth had called a meeting with his family's longtime attorney to discuss his father's incarceration. But he was finding it difficult to find any answers. He was, however, getting along with his sister, which was unwelcome news to their mother.
   
   The over-billing attorney did arrange for the court to allow their father out of jail for an entire afternoon so he could participate in the Living Classics pageant, which consists of live representations of classic works of art. The Bluth's have always been a part of Michelangelo's "The Creation of Adam." Although Buster was reluctant to play the part of Adam this year, since he already had plans with Lucille Austero.
   
   Unimpressed by the results, Michael was determined to drop Barry Zuckerkorn as family attorney for the very businesslike Wayne Jarvis. After the meeting broke up, Lucille made her play on Lindsay, mentioning in passing that Michael called her a "stay in bed mom" in her attempt to dissolve their burgeoning friendship.
   
   Gob, meanwhile, had missed the meeting after being delayed by his girlfriend Marta. And while Gob took his girlfriend for granted, Michael was learning Spanish to grow closer to her. Unfortunately, the one tape he could find, "Spanish for Businessmen," was of little use to him.
   
   And Buster was trying to get George Michael to take over his role as Adam this year. Simultaneously, Lindsay confronted Michael about what Lucille told her, which woke them both up to the fact that their mother was playing them against each other. Michael and Lindsay proceeded to drink and air their grievances about their mother.
   
   Michael finally arranged a meeting with attorney Wayne Jarvis, a professional who doesn't like small talk. When Lucille entered the office for the meeting, she first told Michael that Lindsay planned to get him drunk to get the money she needed for her credit card. And mission accomplished.
   
   At home, Gob racked his brain to find out what Michael was up to with learning Spanish and hiring a new attorney. Lucille advised getting him drunk to find out, and when Lindsay commenting on the bouquet of flowers Wayne Jarvis sent Lucille, Lucille mentioned in passing that Michael told her about Tobias "Never nude" condition, which Lindsay had secretly confided to Michael. Lindsay stormed down to Michael's office to berate him, and they once again realized they had been played by their mother. Only this time, they decided they had to teach her a lesson. When Michael found out Barry Zuckerkorn was taking Lucille to the Living Classics pageant on a date, they realized how embarrassed she would be if George Sr. found out.
   
   George Sr. got his 24 hours of freedom as the pageant finally began. Michael and Lindsay arrived to find Lucille accompanied by Wayne Jarvis, not Barry Zuckerkorn. But the biggest moment came when George Sr., dressed as God, tried to escape from the pageant, only to be tasered into submission by a prison guard.
    
8. My Mother The Car
   After some prodding from Lindsay, Michael decides to throw his mother a surprise birthday party. No one shows up, so Michael decides to make up for it by throwing a second surprise party. When no one else shows up for that one, Michael and his mother bond for the first time over dinner. As they are leaving, they have a car accident and Lucille drags an unconscious Michael over and stuffs him in the driver's seat so that she won't be blamed for the reckless driving. Due to being hit on the head, Michael has lost his short term memory and is unable to remember the actual details.
   
   Buster also takes a knock to the head after jumping through a plate glass window. After trying to break up with Lucille Austero, he decided to date her in secret instead. While dining on Lucille's balcony, Buster spied his mother on her own balcony and jumped through the window to get inside and hide. Meanwhile, Gob has been trying to get Michael to let him use the yacht to take Marta on a romantic cruise before Michael is forced to sell it. But truthfully Gob wants to sail down to the Panama Canal and sell it behind Michael's back and pocket the money.
   
   Lindsay continued to visit her father in prison, growing increasingly frustrated that none of the inmates were taking note of her increasingly sexier outfits. As it turns out, George Sr. was paying off the inmates with gold coins to behave in Lindsay's presence, but her repeat visits were driving him broke.
   
   After his accident, Michael decides to be nice to Gob and allows him use of the yacht. But before he can leave for Panama, Gob realizes that Michael was duped by Lucille and he changes his mind and goes to tell Michael the truth. They confront Lucille and she admits to being a terrible mother but also that she couldn't risk losing Michael's newfound respect and admiration.
    
9. Storming the Castle
   After a chair breaks while he's sitting in it, Michael ponders getting a nice new leather chair for the house on the company's dime. George Michael wonders if this just isn't stealing? Isn't that why Pop Pop is in jail? Then Marta drops by to find Gob, and Michael very, very enthusiastically receives her.
   
   Meanwhile, Lindsay decides she's against leather, which makes Maeby decide she's highly for leather. And she recruits George Michael - who wants to be seen as tough because his legs are hairless - to go leather shopping with her.
   
   While walking down the street later, Michael gets a cryptic threat. A man in limo has a message for Gob: a man named Rallo wants to remove Gob's legs. So Michael went looking for Gob. First he found his mother, who was determined to break up Buster and Lucille Austero.
   
   Lucille decided she needed the help of Buster's father. Unfortunately, after a recent escape attempt, George Sr. had been put in solitary confinement. Michael finds Gob and warns him about the threat, but Gob explains that Rallo means the legs from his "Saw the Lady in Half" trick. PS, he's been sleeping with the legs. Michael, upset that Gob is cheating on Marta, tries to set his brother straight about how wonderful she is.
   
   Maeby comes home and shows off her all-leather outfit to Lindsay, who doesn't notice whatsoever. Tobias, looking to pursue a common interest with his daughter, went leather shopping on his own.
   
   Michael runs into Marta at the office. When he finds out that Gob merely repeated what Michael said about her verbatim, and stole his watch on top of that, Michael decides for the first time in his life he's going to take something that doesn't belong to him. He invites Marta to Gob's next magic show.
   
   Lucille and Buster visit George Sr. in prison, only to find out that he's undergone a religious conversion and is now a devout Jew. He gives Buster and Lucille Austero his blessing for love.
   
   The magic show is about to go down. Tobias was absent because when he jumped in a cab wearing his brand new leather outfit and asked to be taken to the Gothic Castle, the cabbie heard Gothic Arsehole and took Tobias to an entirely different kind of venue.
   
   Backstage before the magic show, Gob gives Michael his watch back and says he wants to be a better brother. Like Michael is to him. Michael called off his nefarious plan to have Marta meet the legs Gob has been sleeping with, and instead substituted George Michael - and perfectly hairless legs - for the original legs. Touched by the display of love between Gob and Marta following the show, Lucille decided to get out of the way of Buster's love, and patched up her relationship with Lucille Austero.
    
10. Pier Pressure
    Michael Bluth was talking to his son about his latest test. A-minus. Not good enough. Go hit the books. Conversely, Lindsay is quite impressed with Maeby's C-minus. She didn't even study. Michael tells Lindsay that without boundaries, kids can fall into trouble. Even drugs. Lindsay says Michael is as bad as dad was with his lessons, which involved a one-armed man.
    
    Gob comes in with his own problem. He needs to borrow money to repay Hot Cops - a stripping agency - which he never paid for his uniform. Visiting his mother, who also needs a favor, Michael comes across Buster, who relays Lucille 2's suffering. Her vertigo is acting up, and by trying to fight it without medicine, she's experiencing some nausea. Lucille goes to Lindsay for help, and spending time with her mother makes Lindsay realize that maybe Maeby needs some discipline. She punishes her for her D-minus. How? By making her spend time with Gangy.
    
    Overhearing George Michael yell at himself as he struggles with a math problem, Michael realizes maybe he's pushing the boy too hard and tells him to take the night off. Buster, meanwhile, was still worried about Lucille 2, whose condition seemed to be worsening. He remembered a study he did on the effects of marijuana and nausea. Buster searched out the toughest, most streetwise kid he knew: George Michael. Finding him working at the banana stand on his day off, Buster asks George Michael to buy him some weed. Or at least get some from Gob. Just don't mention it's for Buster. Michael finds his son working and tells him to take the day off. Relax! Buster agrees, and gives him $250 to spend today.
    
    Maeby is spending time with Gangy, examining jewelry. Lucille finds a broach that Lindsay always wanted and decides that's a good reason to give it to Maeby. Along with a dash of criticism. Shyly walking around the docks, George Michael doesn't find Gob on the yacht and leaves a note asking if he can buy him some pot. Gob did, but told Michael about it first. Michael quizzes his son, who nervously denies all knowledge of nefarious acts. Michael reconvenes with Gob - who is now smoking the pot he bought - and asks him what ever happened to the family's morality.
    
    Michael visits his father to get access to the one-armed man so he can teach his own son a lesson. George Sr. says he's done with lessons because they were wrong. Back on the outside, Lindsay finds out her daughter got the broach she always wanted. Some more criticism later, Maeby decides she's spent enough time with Gangy.
    
    Michael asks Gob to help him out with a lesson. He wants to use his Hot Cop buddies to set up a fake bust. Buster finds George Michael and demands to have the stuff. George Michael says it's on Gob's yacht and Buster can pick it up. No! Gob won't give it to Buster. George Michael has to get it.
    
    Later that night, Michael goes over the final details with Gob, who tells him not to worry. This kind of thing happens on the docks all the time. A boat flashes a light, somebody drops off a bag. George Michael boards the yacht and Gob flashes the lights. Quickly, two men appear with a bag of pot and George Michael reluctantly completes the deal. That's when the Hot Cops - plus one "construction worker" spring into action - cranking some music and dancing around. Michael appears and tells George Michael a lesson has been instilled. Buster comes forward and admits that the weed was for him, not George Michael.
    
    Then two other guys come forward with a supply of weed looking to make a deal. Some real cops then show up. Thinking they were set up, the new dealers start a gun battle. A gun battle in which one of the cops loses an arm. Michael realized that, once again, his father had taught him an elaborate lesson - not to teach his son lessons.
     
11. January 25, 2004: Public Relations:
    Michael hires a publicist to repair the family's image; Carl Weathers teaches Tobias to act; Gob makes a man disappear - for good.
     
12. February 8, 2004: Marta Complex:
    Michael's speech about love and truth moves his siblings: Lindsay to divorce; Gob to doubt Marta; and Buster away from his mother.
     
13. February 15, 2004: Beef Consomme:
    Buster tells Gob he wants to date Marta; Barry asks the family attend George Sr.'s arraignment; Tobias tries nudity; George-Michael learns how Maeby was conceived.
     
14. February 29, 2004: Shock & Aww:
    Heather Graham plays George-Michael's ethics teacher, who attracts Michael; Lucille acquires a Korean orphan; Gob dates a cheerleader in high school.
     
15. March 14, 2004: Staff Infection:
    A warden (James Lipton) lets Tobias research his film role; Michael puts his siblings to work, including Buster and Gob in construction, while Lindsay challenges his management style.
     
16. March 17, 2004: Altar Egos:
     Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays Michael's one-night stand, a lawyer who twice surprises him; George Sr. is offered a plea; Maeby comes into money.
     
17. March 28, 2004: Missing Kitty:
    Michael fires the receptionist who knows all; Gob plans to make the yacht vanish; Tobias wins respect in jail after counseling White Power Bill.
     
18. April 4, 2004: Best Man for the Gob:
    Gob's bachelor party becomes part of a scheme to help George Sr. lose a troublesome witness; Tobias revives a band to bond with Lindsay.
     
19. April 11, 2004: Whistler's Mother:
    Tobias and Gob become business partners to get some of the company's cash influx, which Michael invests in land, but not wisely.
     
20. April 25, 2004: Let Them Eat Cake:
    Ex-secretary Kitty threatens to expose more Bluth crimes; a book by Tobias finds new life; Buster and Annyong compete socially.

Season Two

1. November 7, 2004: The One Where Michael Leaves:
   In the second-season opener, authorities go after Michael, but keep getting his uncle Oscar; Lindsay and Tobias try an open marriage; Gob takes over running the company.
    
2. November 14, 2004: The One Where They Build a House:
   Tobias auditions for Blue Man Group; Michael's business model is amended by Gob; Lindsay attracts a homeless man (Tom Jane).
    
3. November 21, 2004: Amigos!:
   A PI (Martin Mull) finds evidence of George Sr. in Mexico, where a bounty hunter tails Michael and where Buster hopes to avoid the Army.
    
4. December 5, 2004: Good Grief:
   Hors d'oeuvres accompany news of George Sr., which is kept from Buster while Gob plans an illusion to honor their father; Maeby seeks to leave her parents.
    
5. December 12, 2004: Sad Sack:
   Michael is offered immunity if he'll turn in his father; Lindsay invades Maeby's social space; Gob helps Buster over an Army obstacle.
    
6. December 19, 2004: Afternoon Delight:
   Gob brings animosity to the company Christmas party, where Lindsay hunts for men, and Maeby and Michael embarrass themselves at karaoke.
    
7. January 16, 2005: Switch Hitter:
   A Bluth competitor offers Gob a job before their annual grudge softball game; Lucille pulls some Army strings for Buster; medication becomes Lindsay.
    
8. January 23, 2005: Queen for a Day:
   The unfreezing of Bluth stock starts a family spending spree and complicates affairs for Lucille 2 (Liza Minnelli).
    
9. January 30, 2005: Burning Love:
   Michael is repeatedly embarrassed in front of a lost love; Lindsay has a date with a TV detective; George buys a hot tub for the attic; Tobias hunts a wolf for money.
    
10. February 6, 2005: Ready, Aim, Marry Me:
    Michael sets up Lindsay with a wealthy, aging fitness guru (Martin Short) to get money to protect the company from Lucille 2.
     
11. Mar 06, 2005: Out on a Limb (Part 1)
    Just as Michael's relationship with Sally starts to flourish, Maggie Lizer returns nine months pregnant, and Michael immediately assumes he's the father; also, George Michael attempts to break up with Ann, and Buster learns he's being deployed to Iraq.
     
12. Mar 06, 2005: My Hand to God (Part 2)
    Michael tries to find out who's the father of Maggie's baby, or if it's just another of her lies; Gob tries to find out whether he was responsible for Buster's accident.
     
13. Mar 13, 2005: The Tender Crisp Chicken Comedy Half-Hour
    Lucille abducts George Michael for a mother-son dance; Buster adjusts to having a hook for a hand; Gob reunites with his estranged wife; Tobias stars as George Sr. in a biopic about the Bluth family, which causes Lindsay to become more attracted to him.
     
14. Mar 20, 2005: The Immaculate Election
    George Michael runs for student body president, which Gob manages to ruin; Buster has an affair with Lupe, who is being sought after by Lindsay; Tobias attempts to move out of the model home, then develops a new persona when he regrets his decision.
     
15. Mar 27, 2005: The Sword of Destiny
    Gob and Buster team up for some magic tricks with the help of Buster's fake hand, but when Tony Wonder, a rival magician, starts to mentor them, somebody gets the finger. Meanwhile, Michael is forced to delegate some work when he's hospitalized and Lindsay teaches George Michael how to drive using the staircar.
     
16. Apr 03,2005: Meet the Veals
    George Sr. tries to find a way to attend an anniversary dinner for Lucille; Michael deliberatly offends Ann's devout Christian parents; Tobias goes overboard performing his "Mrs. Featherbottom" persona.
     
17. Apr 10,2005: Spring Breakout
    Gob confronts the editor of the videos that showcased his magic mistakes; Michael tricks Lucille in to rehab, and then attempts to get her out after George Sr. is kidnapped.
     
18. Apr 17,2005: Righteous Brothers
    Gob hides George Sr. while the model home's plumbing is checked; George Michael helps Ann protest Maeby's new movie; Tobias takes a liking to Kitty after Michael asks him to keep an eye on her.
     

Season Three

1. Sept 19, 2005: The Cabin Show
   Michael Bluth began his day with something he had never seen. Good news about the family business. Television financial expert Jim Cramer had upgraded the company’s stock from “Sell! Sell! Sell!” to “Don’t Buy.” Excited, Michael tells his mother he’s going to visit his father in prison and gloat over the good news. He sold the family’s cabin property to keep the company afloat and it worked perfectly. And now he can spend some time with George-Michael.
   
   Lucille announces that she wants Michael to take in Buster because she’s tired of his snoring. Michael wonders why his mother’s cruelness has increased, and she tells him she went off her medication for post-partum depression. 32 years after Buster had been born. After seeing Tom Cruise on the Today show, confusing him for a scientist and fearing a gateway into street drugs, Lucille quit her medication. Michael suggests she spend some time at the cabin, while it’s still theirs, to get away from Buster.
   
   As Lucille leaves, it’s revealed that Gob was hiding behind the front door. He’s upset that he didn’t know about the cabin because George Sr. never mentioned it to him. Michael says he had it worse, because every year George Sr. promised to take Michael to the cabin, then blew him off for a random woman. Gob swears that if he ever has a son (which he does and doesn’t know), he’ll take him to the cabin. Or at least promise to. Michael offers to take Gob up to the cabin so they can see it for the first time.
   
   Michael heads off for the prison, but finds George-Michael sleeping in the stair car. George-Michael claims he didn’t want to miss his father because he’d been leaving so early. But, in actuality, he was sleeping outside because he and Maeby had been trying to avoid each other after kissing. Michael asks George-Michael if he’d like a trip to the cabin to spend some time together. Gob rushes out with a sleeping bag and fishing pole, ready for a cabin trip, but Michael breaks it to him that something’s come up, just like George Sr. used to do to him.
   
   At the prison, Michael visits with his father. Not knowing it was actually Oscar. Unfortunately for him, “You’ve got the wrong twin!” was a very common criminal alibi. Oscar begs Michael to check out his new website, ImOscar.com. Michael doesn’t believe him, but when Michael says he’s taking George-Michael to the cabin, Oscar says he understands, because a child comes first. This makes Michael realize that it is actually Oscar in the prison.
   
   So Michael returns to the office to try and free his uncle. But when he sees his employees triumphantly celebrating their new “Don’t Buy” stock status, he knows that this new revelation could harm the company and their improving situation. Lindsey excitedly announces that she‘s going to buy a new car, which she needs to make herself feel better after Tobias ran off to Vegas with Kitty. Michael tells her that she only wants Tobias because she can’t have him. And the second she can have something, she doesn’t want it.
   
   Michael tells Lindsey and Gob that it’s actually Oscar in prison and asks if George Sr. had tried to contact them. Gob touches a letter in his pocket from a group called S.A.D., the Sons and Dads Reunion Project. He assumes they sent it to him by George Senior’s request. Michael calls Barry Zuckerkorn, only to hear that Barry’s in Reno visiting George Sr.
   
   And so, once again, Michael goes after the father who has, once again, abandoned him. Only to end up abandoning his own son. George-Michael asks if he can tag along since the cabin in Tahoe is close to Reno, but Michael tells him it’s an adult trip. So maybe he should pitch a tent with Maeby in the front yard. This makes both kids very uncomfortable.
   
   As Michael sets out to find his father, Gob thinks he’s doing the same at the S.A.D. center. He sits down on a bench next to Steve Holt, who, unbeknownst to either party, is his son. At this point, we learn that Gob slept with six girls. Three of them became pregnant. One of them, Eve Holt, gave birth to Steve Holt. Gob and Steve get to talking, then, thinking the person they’re waiting for will never show, decide to go visit the Bluth cabin.
   
   Michael, meanwhile, arrives in Reno looking for his father. He stops for lunch at Swallows, a family restaurant by day and a wild sex club by night. Tobias is working there as a server. Tobias shamefully admits that the Blue Man Group part he had moved to Vegas for had already been filled. Not knowing that it had been filled by George Sr. so he could hide from the police. Tobias also admits that leaving Lindsey was a mistake. Michael floats the idea that Lindsey might be willing to get back together with him. Tobias then tells Michael that Kitty broke up with him after he found a blue handprint on the back of her head, and two on her chest. Michael realizes that his father is with the Blue Man Group and back with Kitty.
   
   Michael calls Lindsey and tells her he’s bringing Tobias home. Lindsey decides instead to pile in the stair car with George-Michael and Maeby and head off for Reno. Tobias calls her and their back-and-forth conversation causes Lindsey to repeatedly turn the car in circles, alternating heading back home and continuing on to Reno.
   
   Backstage at a Blue Man show, Michael finds Barry Zuckerkorn, who’s also looking for George Sr. Michael fires Barry. Soon, Lindsey arrives at the hotel and the kids finally face facts. They thought things were weird because they hadn’t actually finished their kiss. Perhaps if they completed it, things would go back to normal. At that time, Steve Holt and Gob arrive in Reno. Gob tells Michael about his new buddy. Seeing the letter from S.A.D., Michael informs Gob that Steve is his son. Not a fellow abandoned child. Gob runs off in fear. And that’s when Michael sees George-Michael sleeping in the stair car in the parking lot.
   
   Thinking his son drove all the way to Reno to be with him, Michael heads off for the cabin in the stair car. They had been on the road for an hour when George-Michael finally wakes up and realizes he won’t be kissing Maeby. As Michael is forcibly taking his son out to the cabin, Lucille is ready to forcibly throw hers out. Hearing Buster’s snoring, she begins bashing his bed with a camera tripod. When she discovers that Buster wasn’t actually in bed, that a taped recording was making the snoring, she decides to go for a drive.
   
   On that drive, Buster wakes up in the backseat. He told his mother he was sleeping in the car so she wouldn’t have to hear him snoring, but he left the tape for her so she wouldn’t know he was gone. Tobias, meanwhile, was trying to make Lindsey jealous by convincing her that not only was he still a Blue Man, he was still with Kitty. Backstage before a show, Tobias found a makeup artist that looks remarkably like Kitty and hatched a plan. And Michael and George-Michael arrive at the cabin.
   
   Buster suggests he and Lucille go to the cabin. Perhaps that would be just the shot in the arm their relationship needs. Michael and George-Michael bunk down on the living room floor in the cabin. The next morning, Michael wakes up to find that George Sr. has loaded the cabin onto the back of a flatbed and is hauling it away. He tells Michael he can’t let him free Oscar from prison, or else the authorities will come looking for him.
    
2. Sept 26, 2005: The British Bombshell
   After finding his father towing the family cabin away, Michael arranged for George Sr. to be put under house arrest rather than sent back to prison. Buster, meanwhile, complains to Michael that he’s now being ignored. Michael suggests getting a pet, and Buster excitedly thinks about a turtle.
   
   Lucille excitedly tells Michael about her reinvigorated sex life, and how having George Sr. as her prisoner has brought back her friskiness. Gob enters, excitedly wheeling in the prop for his latest illusion, Freebird. A trunk with a cage on top of it. Wearing a beak, Gob will break out of the cage and then fly away. Moments later, following a puff of smoke, a man who looks a lot like Gob will appear in the cage. George Sr. asks Gob to perform the trick when he pleads not guilty as a sign of protest. A protestacular! Tobias offers to play the role of the double in Gob’s trick, even going so far as to use marker to draw some hair on his bald head. But Gob isn’t interested.
   
   Michael advises Gob to forget the trick and spend some time with his son, Steve Holt, who is desperate to spend time with him. Lindsey comes in, and Michael asks how the divorce proceedings are going. Lindsey mocks Michael for not having had a serious relationship since his wife died.
   
   George Sr. tells Michael they need some sort of grand symbol at the upcoming trial, so George Sr. arranges for Andy Griffith to join the defense team. For $20,000, Mr. Griffith would sit at the defense table and twice whisper in Michael’s ear during the trial. Michael tells his father that they’re pleading guilty. George Sr. tells Michael that he was just a patsy, that a British building company set him up. They had contacted George Sr. about building overseas, and then used a photo of George Sr. with Saddam Hussein to blackmail him. The British are going to try to infiltrate the family, and they have to fight back. Michael is fairly skeptical about the whole thing.
   
   Before leaving to meet with the British builders, Michael presents Lindsey with her new car. A flatbed truck with the family cabin on the back. He then heads off to Orange County’s once-thriving English neighborhood, Wee Britain. He wants to search for evidence of any British-owned building companies. But the man at the British Business Bureau tells him he’ll need a passport to search those records. So Michael goes to the local pub to find someone with a British passport. And that’s when Michael sees the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. Her name is Rita. He asks if she’d be willing to help him.
   
   But the BBB was closed by then since the neighborhood ran on Greenwich Mean Time. Michael asked Rita if she could return tomorrow, but she replies that she’d be at Slowbrook, a private school for children. She thinks she can perhaps sneak out at naptime, so Michael promises to meet her the next day. Meanwhile, a man is spying on Michael throughout his entire visit to Wee Britain.
   
   Tobias, still hoping to be in Gob’s trick, visits a costume shop he stumbled into years ago, this time in search of a wig. Michael, meanwhile, calls Lindsey on his way home from Wee Britain and tells her about his date with Rita. Just then, the man who’s been spying on Michael pulls up next to the stair car and flashes signs instructing Michael to call him. They pull over and the man warns Michael to keep his nose clean.
   
   Back at the office, Michael tells Gob about being warned. Gob derides Michael for hiding like a chicken, then admits he was hiding in the office from Steve Holt. George-Michael comes in looking for his father, but Tobias immediately interrupts, showing off the woman’s wig he purchased. Gob isn’t interested. Michael then tells his son they’ll have to put off their talk until another day. George-Michael expresses surprise that Gob has a son, and Michael says confirms it. And Gob will do whatever it takes to avoid the mistakes of his past, just like George Sr. And that’s when Michael realizes that the man who has been spying on him was hired by his father. Michael was the patsy.
   
   So Michael confronts his father. George Sr. says he didn’t hire anybody, so if Michael got threatened, they’ll have to plead guilty. Then Michael goes to the preschool to catch up with Rita. He informs her that he no longer needs her help, then, misunderstanding her flirtatiousness, declines to ask her out. Michael is filled with self-loathing, so he sits in the stair car and eats a whole bag of candy mints.
   
   And back at the penthouse, George Sr. is telling Gob to use him as the extra for the trick. He’ll get in the cage. Gob is blown away by his father’s caring. But George Sr. is more interested in getting his ankle monitor off at the courthouse and then disappearing as part of the trick. Tobias will then appear in the cage and by the time the authorities realize he isn’t George Sr., the old man will be running through the storm drains to freedom.
   
   Tobias comes home and proudly shows off the 4,000 hair plugs he got so he could be Gob’s double. George Sr. tells Tobias that the illusion has changed, so he’ll have to shave his new plugs. And later that day, Michael arrives at the courthouse with Lindsey. She can’t believe he gave up on Rita so quickly. Time comes for Gob’s illusion, which has be renamed Free Chicken after Gob failed to get the rights to Freebird from Lynyrd Skynyrd.
   
   Gob asks for a volunteer to get in his hanging cage, and George Sr. quickly raises his hand. But Gob notices Steve Holt in the crowd and asks him if he likes magic. When Steve replies that he loves magic, Gob decides to stop trying to impress his father and show his own son what he can do. Gob announces that he’s going to put himself in the cage instead. Tobias, hearing this, has to think quickly. Because the pain was so intense, he can’t get his new hair plugs cut. So he decides to wear a bald cap, which he now peels off.
   
   Gob quickly dons the chicken costume, then disappears behind a puff of smoke. Tobias appears in the hanging cage, bleeding from the head after peeling off the bald cap. And Gob is running through the storm drains. George Sr. tries to escape, but Lucille stun guns him into submission. Michael sees George-Michael and again apologizes for having to put off their talk. George-Michael tells him not to worry, as the league was out of his league. And Michael, seeing what a life of cowardice leads to, decides he’s done with it.
   
   And the family gathers to enter their plea. Michael pleads not guilty, determined not to be a coward. Outside the courthouse, Michael sees Rita. Impressed that she showed up, Michael offers to call her up some time and take her out. She agrees, so he kisses her and departs. Rita is happy to be in Michael’s life now, as she has a secret of her own. She gets into a car with the man who earlier threatened Michael and drove off.
    
3. Oct 03, 2005: Forget Me Now
   Michael Bluth and his family were meeting with their new lawyer, Bob Loblaw. Sitting in on the meeting was Larry Middleman, who was playing a surrogate role for George Sr. George Sr. had hooked up Middleman with a camera, microphone and earpiece so he could participate in meetings while under house arrest. And Lindsey was enamored with how young and cute Loblaw is.
   
   Michael discussed his upcoming date with Rita, who Gob assumed had to be ugly. Lindsey continued swooning over Loblaw, a professional man, which made Tobias jealous. He claimed he gave up his practice to raise Maeby, who might be dating soon. In fact, she was dating Steve Holt whom she didn’t know was her cousin. But she was only using Steve to avoid her real crush on George-Michael.
   
   Back downstairs, Bob Loblaw was wrapping up the meeting. He warned the family to watch out for the British builders, who might try to get their hands on evidence. George Sr. took this as an order to shred evidence, which Loblaw said he couldn’t endorse. Michael says he has to leave to pick up Rita, and advises Gob to spend some time with his son, Steve Holt. Hearing this, George-Michael realizes that Steve Holt is also his cousin.
   
   And Michael arrived in Wee Britain for his date. He finds Rita on a spaceship ride for children. Over lunch, Michael admits that he hasn’t been on a date in long time. Rita says she hasn’t either because she only meets little boys. And then Michael thought he saw the spy from earlier. Rita told Michael she wanted to meet his family and then curiously pointed the tail end of her coonskin cap at Michael. The same coonskin cap the spy gave her before lunch. Michael, remembering at the times he introduced a woman to his family with disastrous results, told Rita he didn’t have a family.
   
   After lunch, Rita asked to see Michael’s house. He told her no, so she left. Michael came back to work to find Tobias, who was now interested in finding surrogate work like Larry Middleman. That’s when Michael heard a wood chipper in the office. Gob was shredding stacks of evidence. Gob, standing next to Larry Middleman, told Michael George Sr. instructed him to shred everything. Lucille arrived for a lunch date with George Sr. / Larry Middleman. And then Buster, wearing white tie and tails, arrived, showing off the medal he just received from the Army. Lucille thinks it’s because a seal bit off his hand.
   
   And that’s when George Sr., watching TV at home, found a solution to his house arrest. His ankle bracelet would only go off if he walked out the front door. But if he had enough balloons, he could float away. George Sr. ordered Middleman to gather enough balloons. Michael, seeing a chance to show Rita his home, suggested a party in Buster’s honor at the penthouse. While the family was busy there, Michael could take Rita to the model home. Buster wasn’t sure if he deserved a party, but Tobias, reverting back to his Analrapist ways, told Buster that it wasn’t a seal he was afraid of, but Lucille. This seemed to be a breakthrough for both men.
   
   And Lindsey was making a breakthrough of her own with Bob Loblaw. But she didn’t understand that he was merely trying to handle her divorce case, not coming on to her. Michael stopped by his house to make there no signs of his family, only to find Tobias dressed up as Lucille, trying to help Buster stand up to his mother. Meanwhile, Maeby, worried about Steve Holt’s sexual expectations, tried to cancel their date. But when she told Steve the whole family would be at a party at Lucille’s, he saw that as a chance to get together at her house. George-Michael also didn’t know what to do. if he tried to stop Maeby by pointing out that Steve Holt was her cousin, he might burn the very bridge that he one day hoped to cross.
   
   But in the boys’ bathroom, when Steve Holt boasted to George-Michael that he’d be doing his cousin that evening, George-Michael blurted out the truth. Back at the penthouse, party preparations were underway. Buster told the family Michael kicked them out of the model home so he could shred the evidence, meaning the evidence that his family existed. But the Bluths took this to mean the evidence that implicated George Sr. Michael was selflessly putting himself in legal danger to help the family once again. The family vowed to start being nicer, and their first step would be to cancel Buster’s party and throw a “Welcome, Rita!” party instead.
   
   Meanwhile, Michael was hiding the family evidence wherever he could when he heard Gob leaving a message on the machine. Gob was begging Michael to attend the party since the family loved him now. And Lindsey drove the cabin truck to Slowbrook to pick up Rita. She instructed Rita to get in the cabin, where the family was waiting to surprise her. Feeling threatened, Rita tried to leave, but when Buster saw her plush seal backpack, he freaked out, hit her and knocked her out.
   
   The family didn’t know what to do. Gob gave Rita a “forget me now,” a pill magicians use when somebody learns how a trick is done. The pill causes temporary forgetfulness. Tobias recognizes the pill as a roofie. Lindsey pulls over and the Bluths leave Rita passed out on a bus bench. Back at the house, Michael finished his work and rushed to pick up Rita. And Maeby prepared to call things off with Steve Holt, just as Steve showed up to call things off with his cousin. When they both saw the romantic dinner table Michael had prepared for Rita, the awkwardness has increased.
   
   But Michael had missed Rita, so he decided to attend the family party after all, just as the family was frantically trying to hide any evidence of a Rita party. And that’s when Michael saw Rita on the bench. So Michael raced up to pay his quick respects to Buster. That’s when the family told Michael the party was actually for him. And that’s when Rita walked in. Everybody froze. Michael thought he had been caught in a lie about having a family. The family thought they had been caught by a woman they knocked out and left on a bench. It was awkward.
   
   Buster barged in announcing that he was back in the Army. Apparently by accepting his medal, he was actually re-enlisting. But Rita didn’t know who anybody was. So she left. Michael admitted that he told her he didn’t have a family. And they admitted what they did to Rita. Michael chased after her. Buster went to throw out his medal, which had caused nothing but problems. But it was at the same time George Sr. was trying to make his escape in a chair lifted by hydrogen balloons. Buster’s medal pierced the balloons, causing an explosion and sending George Sr. plummeting to the ground. The police pounced on him.
   
   George-Michael came home to find an unconscious Steve Holt and was shocked that Maeby did it with her cousin. But Maeby only gave him a roofie so he would think that they did it. Later that night, Michael tried to salvage the remains of the files. He had hidden them in the trunk of the Mercedes, which caught on fire when George Senior’s balloons had exploded. And he had no help, since Lindsey had used up all of the retainer they paid Bob Loblaw with her flirtatious phone calls.
   
   Gob came in, and Michael asked what the family was doing with Rita in the first place. He told Michael they were just trying to help him. Michael said he screwed things up enough that it probably didn’t matter anyway. Gob advised him to take one last shot.
   
   So Michael met with Rita for another meal at Fat Ammy’s, determined to keep no secrets. He started to tell her everything about the family business and she listened intently.
    
4. Nov 07, 2005: Notapusy
   Michael was heading to work when he saw something he had never seen before lunch: his twin sister, Lindsey. She had a nanny job for Bob Loblaw now. She only took the job to seduce Loblaw, a plan that was not coming to fruition to Lindsey’s great surprise. Michael advised Lindsey to win over Loblaw’s daughter first. Find a common interest and share it with her.
   
   Michael then listened to a message from Rita. She was leaving on the next train, so Michael raced to the station. Out of breath, he told Rita how he felt about her. Touched, she called Michael a *****. But whereas that word meant weak or cowardly in America, in England, it meant very sweet, like a pussycat. Michael did not know this.
   
   Michael returned home, hoping to take solace in his son’s company by doing something masculine like playing catch. However, George-Michael had never taken to sports. The only athletic prowess he ever demonstrated, in fact, was in hanging motionless from the monkey bars. Besides, George-Michael had to go fabric shopping with Ann because she needed to make a dress to wear in a beauty pageant. The pageant was at the state fair, which this year was a church and state fair. The state had run out of money and was going to cancel the fair until a religious leader offered to cover the costs in exchange for adding a church presence to the fair.
   
   Maeby scoffed at the idea of a pageant, saying they only rewarded beauty, no matter what the organizers claimed. Tobias entered, proudly showing off his new hair plugs. Lindsey realized that the pageant was an opportunity to connect with Bob Loblaw’s daughter. And Tobias realized that if he could coach a girl to pageant glory, he could impress Lindsey. So he decided to coach Ann.
   
   Gob came home and told Michael that Steve Holt would be coming by the house soon, wanting to go to the fair. Gob asked Michael to tell Steve he was out of town. Gob claimed that he wasn’t ready to be a dad. Besides, he was going to be busy as a pageant judge, a position he had held for years. Steve Holt arrived and Gob ran away. Steve knew that Gob was hiding from him, but said he wanted to participate in a father/son triathlon. Knowing that Rita had once won a silver medal in the Olympics, Michael offered to enter the race with Steve Holt. Watching from outside, Gob became insanely jealous.
   
   Michael was trying to prove his manliness with Steve Holt and leaving messages for Rita about his training. Meanwhile, at the Church and State Fair, Maeby was trying to enter the pageant. But as Shirley, Maeby’s handicapped alter ego. To Maeby’s great surprise, the pageant agreed to let her enter.
   
   At the same time, Lucille was meeting with Bob Loblaw about getting Buster out of the Army. Bob mentioned that if Buster could enroll someone else in the Army, the service would release him. Michael arrived, fresh from a run, and Loblaw told him that George Sr. had received a lot of bad press due to his escape attempts. They needed to get him some good PR, so Loblaw enlisted George Sr. to give a “Startled Straight” speech to troubled youth at the fair. Looking at the brochure, Buster realized he had stumbled upon a potential Army recruiting pool. One the Army had been using for years.
   
   When Michael casually mentioned his triathlon to his father, George Sr. told him he had no chance. That race is too grueling. People completely lose control of their bodily functions. And Tobias was preparing Ann for the talent portion of the pageant. He suggested adding a camel to his routine. George-Michael was finding himself left out of the entire process.
   
   Michael returned home, confident in his manliness, when he found George-Michael, who was questioning his. Michael broke it to George-Michael that he was racing with Steve Holt. But the next morning, Michael awoke to discover that every muscle in his body was sore. And that Gob had cut apart Michael’s bicycle in revenge for stealing Steve Holt away.
   
   The Church and State Fair was in full swing. And Lindsey watched with pride as Hope Loblaw performed an original number that Lindsey had written. Next up was Ann Veal, performing “We Three Kings” with a camel, a stubborn camel that refused to come on stage. Michael arrived and tried to tell Steve that he was too sore to race. Steve gave Michael what he thought were oxygen pills so Michael could race. But the pills were actually Oxycontin. Michael took one, hoping to still race and impress Rita.
   
   Meanwhile, Maeby/Surely took the stage at the pageant, trying to get knocked out. When asked by a pope impersonator how God had influenced her life, Maeby replied that about as much as Big Bird and the Keebler elves. The fake pope said that if God took his legs, his faith would be shaken too. And George Sr. arrived at the Startled Straight tents. Buster told his father to scare those kids straight into his open arms. But as it turned out, the fair had two Startled Straight tents, as George Sr. had wandered into the church-sponsored one, intended to scare gay young men into a heterosexual lifestyle. George Sr. told them about nights of constant man on man sex, which greatly intrigued the boys.
   
   Outside the tent, Buster noticed that he had some competition, an Army enrollment tent that was offering free hats. Interested by the free hats, Buster wandered over. The pageant was down to the final three girls: Hope Loblaw, Ann Veal and Maeby in a wheelchair. Desperate to lose the competition, Maeby stood up from her chair and said the other girls deserved to win. The crowd took it as miracle.
   
   Michael, feeling a little woozy, arrived to see the triathlon course, which consisted of a tricycle race, five inflatable pools, and fathers and sons chained together at the ankle for a three-legged race. Michael asked Steve Holt why he let him train so hard, knowing the race was so ridiculous. Steve said he just wanted to do some guy stuff, so Michael agreed to go ahead with the race.
   
   After the pageant, George-Michael congratulated Ann on finishing third. But Ann, flush with pageant success, dumped George-Michael because he wasn’t man enough for her now. George-Michael, having lost both his girlfriend and his father because he wasn’t man, emerged from the pageant tent and faced a choice. The Army enrollment tent, or the God’s army enrollment tent. He opted for the Army tent, but when he entered, found that both the Army and religious tents were actually one big tent.
   
   Michael and Steve Holt finished their triathlon in first place. Buster found Michael and told him George-Michael was signing up for the Army. Michael needed to rush over and stop his son, but he was chained to Steve Holt and starting to really feel the effects of his pills. That’s when Rita noticed Michael, staggering and out of energy. And George Sr. had only succeeded in startling himself. He ran out of the tent and saw a Humvee and a fake Popemobile. George Sr. escaped in the Popemobile.
   
   Michael found George-Michael, hanging from the monkey bars during his Army physical training test. Michael assures his son that he doesn’t have to worry about being a wimp, and George-Michael decides not to enlist. After overseeing this, Rita approaches Michael and tells him that he’s quite a man. A real *****.
    
5. Nov 07, 2005: Mr. F
   Michael had snuck out of work to see a British film with his British girlfriend, Rita, when they came about a toy store. Rita wanted to buy George-Michael a train set she saw in the window, but Michael said he had already purchased George-Michael’s big birthday gift, a navy blue suit and a copy of Quicken. Michael had to get back to work, but couldn’t tear himself away from Rita. So they rolled down a hill at a Bluth company development.
   
   Seeing the ground give out beneath them, Michael recognized that he had a mole problem, a phrase that perked up Rita’s ears. Michael and Rita were falling for each other, which wasn’t part of Rita’s plan. Back at her home base, she told her spy master that she was tired of his stupid orders, that she couldn’t help falling in love. He merely showed her a gold star, Rita’s award for completing her Bluth spy job. She was
   entranced.
   
   And Michael returned home as well, only to find Tobias on the floor. He had collapsed, woozy from getting 4,000 hair plugs. He was also exhausted from all the time he had been spending at the gym with his friend Frank. Frank was an agent who said he wanted to work with Tobias. Frank was a CIA agent, but Tobias heard CAA, a Hollywood talent agency.
   
   Michael told Tobias he needed to focus more on his daughter. In fact, she had already received her first “F.” The movie Maeby had overseen while secretly working at a studio received an F from Entertainment Weekly and was losing money. Maeby’s solution to the problem was to turn the movie into a ride on the studio tour. Change the Hell Tunnel ride to the Tunnel of Love Indubitably ride. Lindsey chafed at Michael’s criticism, saying he’s ignored his family since Rita came into his life. Michael at least admitted that he needed to spend more time at work. An entire hillside for a project a Japanese group was funding had moles.
   
   Later that day, Michael arrives at the office, where Lucille, Gob, Buster and George Senior’s surrogate, Larry, were waiting for him. The family had a meeting with Bob Loblaw, who rushed in and said the Japanese were coming. Somebody tipped them off that the land wasn’t ready for development. Gob suggested building a tiny model town, then showing it to the Japanese through a window and telling them it was very far away. Bob Loblaw warned the family away from fraud. George Sr. agrees, saying this isn’t some Japanese movie where the hero puts on jet pants like Astro Boy, which gives him another escape idea.
   
   Loblaw wonders who alerted the Japanese and warns Michael that the family might have a spy. Loblaw instructs them to find the leak and plug it. And perhaps look for someone English. The family immediately suspects Rita. Michael denies telling her anything, but actually, he’s told her everything. But he still refuses to believe she’s a spy. Bob Loblaw says his informants have indicated that the spy is named Mr. F. Michael stormed out, upset, and called Rita. He offered to take her out for the day. Seeing a news report on the potentially deadly new Tunnel of Love Indubitably ride, Rita offered to make the plans.
   
   The next morning, Michael was heading out for his date with Rita. But first, Michael told his son he had a fun new birthday present for him. George-Michael was unsure, declaring that fun and failure both started out the same way. Michael tore down the inspirational poster with that message from George-Michael’s wall. And Larry the surrogate arrived at the model home to pick up the jet pack George Sr. had shipped there.
   
   But the package waited outside the front door was a train set. George Sr. was disappointed, figuring the Japanese website he had ordered from had screwed up the delivery. Gob finds Larry with the box and opens it, finding small houses. He proudly thinks that George Sr. went along with his tiny town idea. Meanwhile, George Sr. was trying to soothe himself with an ice cream sandwich. But he dropped it between the refrigerator and the counter. Pulling out the fridge to retrieve it, George Sr. found a way to possibly sneak out of the penthouse: an air duct. Buster entered the kitchen and, seeing the refrigerator out of place, pushed it back against the wall, trapping George Sr.
   
   Buster then went to the bedroom, where he found the radio George Sr. used to communicate with Larry the surrogate. At that moment, Gob was asking his father if he wanted to build the tiny town with him. Buster also wanted to do the same with Gob, and used to radio to indicate his desire.
   
   Meanwhile, at the gym, Tobias had again met up with Frank. Frank told Tobias that the Japanese investors Tobias told him about were going to the model home. Frank needed Tobias there to act as a mole. And later, Michael and Rita were on the Tantamount Studios tour. George-Michael then called his father and said he wasn’t sure if he should play with the gift his father had ordered for him. Michael assured him that it was okay, thinking he was talking about a train set, and not the extremely dangerous jet pack that George-Michael had just found outside the front door.
   
   And soon, the studio train had arrived at the Tunnel of Love Indubitably. A voice told the passengers to grab the hand of somebody they loved. Michael did, happy to finally have someone he loved. And then he noticed Rita’s bracelet, which had Mr. F. engraved on it. Michael asked Rita who Mr. F was, but she tried to change the subject before saying he had followed them. Michael turned and saw the man who had threatened him after his first visit to Wee Britain. Rita told Michael the man was her uncle, and he wanted Michael out of the picture. Mr. F tried to board the train, but Michael threw him into a small pool. Then he told Rita it was over.
   
   Maeby got a call that someone had already been injured on her ride. George-Michael, meanwhile, was trying to solve a mystery of his own by watching the instructional DVD that had come with the jet pack. The DVD was in Japanese, but George-Michael knew for sure that the gift was extremely dangerous. Meanwhile, Gob was bonding with the man he thought his father was controlling. His real father, however, had gotten lost between the walls over the penthouse.
   
   Outside the model home, Frank was wiring up Tobias for the meeting with the Japanese. And Michael was on the phone with Bob Loblaw about Rita. Loblaw warned Michael that if the family went ahead with their plan to fool the investors, and any money changed hands, they could all be sent to jail. Inside, Gob lined up the investors and pulled up the curtains just as Michael rushed in. The tiny town actually looked pretty good, and the investors were quite pleased. Michael told Gob to close the curtains and not accept any money. But before he could, Tobias passed by in his mole costume and began smashing the tiny houses.
   
   At that moment, George-Michael, using his jet pack birthday present, swooped out of the sky and knocked Tobias over. The investors were furious and stormed out, never to be heard from again. The family rushed out to see what caused all the fuss. Michael was shocked to find George-Michael wearing the jet pack. Larry’s radio began picking up feedback and Tobias admitted that he was wearing a wire for his friend Frank, who wanted him to be a mole. Michael put all together. Tobias Funke was actually Mr. F, and the man from Wee Britain actually was Rita’s uncle. Michael rushed off to find Rita.
   
   Gob told his father through Larry that he had the time of his life building the town, and when Buster tripped up and referred to Lucille as mother, Gob figured out who was controlling the radio. Buster sheepishly admits that he just wanted to spend some time with Gob.
   
   Michael caught up with Rita, who was packing. Somebody had called the police on them, so they had to go back to England. That somebody, of course, was Bob Loblaw, acting on Michael’s orders. Michael blurted out that Rita should marry him so she could get a green card. She left a note for her uncle, grabbed the gold star and then rushed off with Michael. At the same time, Frank and fellow agent were looking at Rita’s dossier. Frank told him to forget about it, Rita was marked MRF: Mentally retarded female.
    
6. Dec 05, 2005: The Ocean Walker
   Michael was sharing some very important news with his parents. He was getting married. George Sr. and Lucille thought this was a very bad idea, but Michael defended he and Rita’s love. But what Michael didn’t know is that mentally, Rita had only progressed to a first grade level. A fact that was masked by her English accent. Michael told the family the wedding was in one month. George Sr. explained that he didn’t have to marry the girl just because she’s pregnant, but Michael informed them that they hadn’t slept together yet.
   
   Concerned that his family may have been making sense, Michael decided to talk to Rita. At the model home, Michael ran into Tobias, who was now getting around in a wheelchair because of numbness in his left arm and legs. Michael attributed this to Tobias’ recent hair transplant. Maeby then mentioned to Michael that she loved Rita because Rita had helped her with a little project the previous evening. It seemed that Maeby needed help with a script she was working on for her secret studio job. The man was in L.A., his love was in Tokyo. How to get them together? Rita suggested having them walk. Maeby thought this was brilliant since nobody could critique it for fear of looking stupid and set to finishing The Ocean Walker.
   
   Meanwhile, Lindsey and Rita, quickly becoming the best of friends, returned from a shopping excursion. Michael took Lindsey aside and expressed his concerns about the lack of physicality in the relationship, wondering if Rita was just using him for a green card. Lindsey suggested getting a hotel room for the evening.
   
   And Gob began to prepare a magic trick for the wedding. Rita oversaw and told Gob that she loved magic and begged him to do a trick for her. He tried to shoot her with a fireball, but only succeeded in dousing her with lighter fluid, a feat that Rita still found remarkable. Gob realized he needed to get Rita involved in his wedding trick somehow. Rita bragged that she could hold her breath for 20 minutes.
   
   Michael then caught up with Rita and invited her to a hotel for the evening. Rita said she needed to get her jammies and tiny teddy first. And so George-Michael drove Rita to Wee Britain. That’s when he first became concerned over her behavior. While Rita packed for her sleepover, her Uncle Trevor warned her about what that truly meant. Rita complained that she wanted to have some grown up fun, but Uncle Trevor said she wasn’t ready for a sexual relationship. Rita retorted that she was since she had seen Uncle Trevor’s secret magazine, Bumpaddle, and that she and Michael were getting married. Forbidding her, Uncle Trevor put the invisible locks on the door, so Rita stormed to her room.
   
   At the same time, Michael was sprinkling rose petals on a hotel bed. He called his father to brag that he and Rita were at a hotel and very much in love, so George Sr. asked his son to put her on the phone. After claiming that she was in the shower and then watching two E! True Hollywood Stories with his father over the phone, Michael finally admitted that she wasn’t there. And she still wasn’t there the next morning when Michael and George Sr. awoke, phones still to their ears.
   
   Michael drove to Wee Britain to call off the wedding. He asked Rita to tell him to his face why she never showed, but she said the invisible locks made it impossible to open the door. So Michael decided to scale the fire escape to rescue the beautiful, sweet mentally challenged woman he had fallen in love with without realizing she was mentally challenged. Pulling her through the window, Michael then used Buster’s hook on the overhead Poppins wire and, with Rita on his back, gently descended to the ground. And so, reunited with Rita, Michael told his parents he’d be getting married tomorrow.
   
   But that’s when George Sr. and Lucille had a surprise visitor, Uncle Trevor. He was looking for Rita, adamantly declaring that she wasn’t getting married. That there was no way Michael was getting her millions simply because she was mentally challenged. George Sr. and Lucille focused more on the millions part. Uncle Trevor went on to explain that Rita owned all of Wee Britain, as well the Wee Britain in Cleveland, which Uncle Trevor feared she might lose if the plans for Sea Britain came through. Sea Britain being the floating town that Rita suggested that Michael build since land was so hard to find.
   
   George Sr. said that Michael wasn’t after her money, and Lucille remarked that Michael probably didn’t even know about her condition. Uncle Trevor admitted that most Yanks are fooled by her accent, and the plastic surgery Rita recently had also masked her condition. Uncle Trevor vowed to stop this wedding, even if he had to search every hotel in town. George Sr. and Lucille directed Uncle Trevor to Legoland. But when he left, they said they had 24 hours to find Michael and Rita and get them married.
   
   Later that night, Michael was at the hotel with his bride-to-be. She told him she was ready for sexual relations, then brought out her Bumpaddle paddle. But then George-Michael knocked on the door. George-Michael struggled with his words at first, then finally told his father he had been videotaping Rita lately. He showed Michael footage of Rita eating the plastic fruit in the model home. Repeatedly. Michael finally realized that Rita was a few steps slow, then thought back on the mountain of evidence he had missed over the past weeks.
   
   Back in the room, Rita was ready for their adult fun, but Michael was now trying to find a way out. He suggested waiting until after they were married. The next morning, however, as Michael prepared to let Rita down gently, he was surprised by his family, which was throwing him a surprise wedding. Lucille drummed up excitement for the day, but when George Sr. made an aside about Rita being retarded, Larry the surrogate repeated it. Michael couldn’t believe his family would stoop so low, then realized Rita must be rich. George Sr. fired Larry. Michael caught up with Rita to set everything straight.
   
   He explained that things couldn’t work between them and she realized she had to go back to England with Uncle Trevor. After a sad goodbye, the days of Michael and Rita were over.
    
7. 12 Dec 05 Prison Break-In
   Michael Bluth paid an unexpected visit to his mother. Lucille immediately figured he wanted something, since he had been ignoring the family in favor of Rita lately. Michael reminded her that his relationship was over, and he thought it was for the best. But actually, he was so devastated by the breakup that he had broken out the old guitar.
   
   Buster, meanwhile, was excited about the new pet turtle he had brought home in an incredibly misguided attempt to make his mother jealous. He had named the turtle Mother, and stored it in a box that Oscar had left behind. A box that Oscar used to store his medicinal marijuana. Michael reminded Lucille that he needed her because he was the co-chair of the Bluth Foundation Dinner. He wanted to avoid a previous debacle in which the family couldn’t agree on which disease to raise money for and sent out invitations that read, “Disease: TBA”. They ended up raising $25,000 to fight TBA. And then did it again the next year. When donors finally found out, they nearly rioted.
   
   Lucille assured Michael that he had nothing to worry about because Warden Gentles, the man who formerly ran George Senior’s prison, was the new co-chair. And at that moment, the good warden was installing cameras in Lucille’s penthouse because of George Senior’s frequent escape attempts. And also so he could study George Sr. further because he was the main character in the warden’s screenplay, New Warden. Although George Sr. insisted that, thanks to his new hobby of making papier mache copies of his own head, he was now happy at home. Lucille raved that the warden was letting them hold the dinner in a new wing of the jail, and after dinner, everybody would get to spend the night in a cell. Delightfully hilarious!
   
   So Michael went home to complain to Lindsey. This disappointed Maeby, as she had met with Warden Gentles to use his prison as a film location. Lindsey excitedly told Michael about this year’s disease, GVH, or Graft Versus Host, an insidious disease which Tobias was currently suffering from. His hair transplant was rejecting his body, meaning that Tobias had to remove his hair graft or die. Lindsey, of course, was making Tobias keep the hair until the benefit dinner. Tobias, growing sicker by the second, didn’t mind so much, since he got to star in the video Gob was making for the dinner.
   
   Michael began to worry that Warden Gentles was using Lucille, but Lindsey figured he just liked her. George-Michael came down and announced that he was going to skip the gala this year. What he didn’t say is that it was because he was having trouble looking directly at his dying uncle.
   
   Buster was also feeling abandoned by Mother, his now dead turtle. But at that moment, his true father, Oscar, returned, looking for his weed. When he learned that Buster’s turtle ate it all, he tried to leave, not wanting to be seen by George Sr. Buster begged him to say, telling him he could hide in one of Gob’s tricks. And Maeby, bored by New Warden, asked George-Michael to read it. And Michael raced to warn his mother of Warden Gentles’ intentions. Michael found them having a romantic meal inside the prison. Lucille told Michael she was trying to seduce the warden, not the other way around.
   
   Michael rushed home to tell Gob and Lucille what he had learned. Overhearing a conversation about something that wasn’t natural, George-Michael perked up, asking if they were discussing a law that bans cousin love. He had read New Warden, and took it as a subtle signal from Maeby about their future, particularly after reading a part about what happens when two people share a bunk. Realizing that nobody else would help, Michael decided to approach Buster about interrupting Lucille’s plans.
   
   But Buster didn’t care either. So Michael decided to tell George Sr. He wasn’t exactly devastated. Mainly because he knew about it already. Michael, putting the dinner and the model heads together, figured out George Sr. was planning a new escape attempt. Which he was, with Lucille calling him from the prison to tell him the code for removing his ankle bracelet. Then she told George Sr. that if he was now free, so was she. And she was spending the night with the warden.
   
   And an ambulance arrived to take Tobias and Lindsey to the charity dinner. George-Michael also said he was going so he could support Maeby. Feeling rejected by his family, Michael decided to stay home and read. But the family had no books. So Michael found New Warden and sat down with it. And that’s when Michael learned Warden Gentles’ true intentions. He was merely using Lucille to get even with George Sr. Also, he had given her Chlamydia.
   
   George Sr. needed to escape, but his papier mache heads would never fool the cameras. So he searched through Gob’s magic stuff to find something he could use. And he did. Oscar, lying unconscious in one of Gob’s cages, having been knocked out when Buster tried to stuff him in there to hide him. George Sr. then ordered Gob to get his magic stuff out of the penthouse, which allowed George Sr. to hide in the magic box and then escape.
   
   Michael found Gob at the model home and implored him to help him break into the prison to save Lucille. And Buster found Oscar, who once again had been shaved to look like George Sr. Oscar pleaded with Buster to set him free, which he did. But the police quickly arrested Oscar.
   
   And the guys arrived at the prison to stage their break in. Gob donned George-Michael’s jet pack, but forgot to strap it on. As a backup plan, he had drawn the prison blueprints on his stomach. Upside down. To read them, Gob had to lie on the ground so Michael could straddle him in a very compromising position. A prison guard found them, but thought they were part of the gala and ordered them inside.
   
   Inside, George-Michael was inviting Maeby to pick a cell to share with him that evening. And in the warden’s office, guards led Oscar into Warden Gentles’ office. In the dining hall, Gob’s video began playing. An incredibly graphic video that featured Tobias spurting blood and picking off scabs. When the patrons learned that removing his hair plugs would cure Tobias, the crowd began to grow unruly. Very quickly, a riot broke out.
   
   Michael caught up with his mother in a conjugal visit trailer and begged his mother not to go through with her plans. When she resisted at first, Michael told her about Gentles’ screenplay. Which she already knew about. In fact, she gave him the Chlamydia. George Sr. broke into the trailer and demanded that Lucille give their relationship one last shot. Then Warden Gentles came in and asked if George Sr. was in here, who was being deloused at the moment? George Sr. admitted that it was Oscar, and told the warden that if he freed Oscar and gave George Sr. and Lucille one hour alone, they could call everything even. The warden agreed.
    
8. 19 Dec 05 Making a Stand
   Michael Bluth was trying to include his brother in the business, at his father’s request, but he was finding himself overwhelmed by the change. Gob wanted to announce an exciting new business opportunity with a company in Colombia that wanted to develop timeshares. Michael called the idea stupid and said they wouldn’t be doing it.
   
   Michael returned to his office, only to find Lindsey. Lindsey remarked that George Sr. forcing Gob into the company was just like when they were children and George Sr. goaded Gob and Michael into fighting so he could record it and sell the tapes. And also to build competitive spirit. George Sr. eventually franchised his Boyfights videos concept into multiple tapes. But Lindsey was more interested in the end of her marriage, which was speeding up now that Bob Loblaw had finally admitted she was attractive.
   
   Later that day, Michael went to the penthouse to talk about the problems he was having with Gob. The apartment was being painted, so Lucille told Michael she’d be spending a few nights with him. Between the paint fumes and her upcoming facelift, she needed to be out of the penthouse. Michael then confronted George Sr. about Gob. George Sr. admitted that he gave Gob the idea for the Colombian timeshare to again foster the competitive spirit between Michael and Gob. After all, he didn’t do any of that with Buster, and look how he turned out.
   
   Buster thought he turned out okay, but George Sr. mentioned the job at an Iraqi toy store that he got Buster, and that Buster blew off. The toy store wanted to use Buster as a deterrent to shoplifters, showing off his stump and hanging an “I Stole” sign around his neck. Michael announced that he would no longer compete with Gob.
   
   Meanwhile, a test screening for Maeby’s movie wasn’t going well. Rather than horrifying audiences, the blood sucker creature in the film was making them laugh. Her boss gave her a week to fix it. And Michael caught up with Gob and asked him about George Senior’s idea for the Colombian timeshare. Gob said that he had a new Christian girlfriend, and he was trying to show he was admirable so she would renounce her faith and sleep with him. Slightly touched, Michael decided to give Gob his own banana stand franchise and give Steve Holt a job there.
   
   A few days later, Michael got a call from George-Michael. Gob had opened his banana stand directly across from the original. Michael showed up and told Gob to take down his stand. Gob asked why he was afraid of a little competition, so Michael took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and vowed to crush Gob’s Banana Shack.
   
   Elsewhere, Lindsey was preparing for her own competition -- her divorce hearing -- where she learned that Tobias had hired Bob Loblaw as his lawyer. And that night, Buster arrived at the model home with a post-op Lucille. He also showed Michael his new prosthetic hand, and mentioned that, at the shop, he had run into J. Walter Weatherman. Weatherman was the one-armed man George Sr. often used to teach the Bluth children lessons -- lessons that always ended with Weatherman’s prosthetic arm being ripped off.
   
   George Sr. then called Michael and asked about Gob’s Banana Stand. George Sr. remarked that Gob and Steve Holt had taken in over $700, so perhaps Gob should be the family’s new heir. So Michael decided to get serious. He needed to break out the banana suit. That night, sleeping on the couch, Maeby heard a noise. Looking around, she saw Lucille without her bandages on. Screaming in terror, Maeby managed to take a picture with her cell phone. And at that moment, she realized she had her new blood sucking monster.
   
   The next day, Michael took off work to man the banana stand while George-Michael wore the banana suit. Gob retaliated by unveiling his banana babes -- two experienced hookers. Michael prepared to escalate, and George-Michael tried to talk him out of the eventual back and forth. But it was no use. Gob’s 2-for-1 deal became Michael’s 3-for-1 deal, which became Gob’s all 3 free deal, which then led to Steve Holt trying out a fireball, which led to the fire department being called out to extinguish the burning banana shack, which led to George-Michael wearing the banana suit and jet pack at the same time. In the end, Michael and Gob decide to just slap fight, like they used to do in the Boyfight days.
   
   George-Michael and Steve Holt broke up the fight, then Gob blurted out that he was accepting pesos for frozen bananas, and also that George Sr. came up with the location, the signage, everything. Michael realized that George Sr. was using the banana shack both to finance the Colombian time share deal, and also to distract Michael while he did it. Michael decided he was going to teach George Sr. a lesson, and he was going to use J. Walter Weatherman to do so.
   
   Michael approached Buster for Weatherman’s number, but Buster refused because he didn’t think scaring people with missing limbs was admirable. Later, Michael and Gob went to put their plan in action. At the penthouse, Michael told George Sr. that he had cancelled the deal, but the Colombians didn’t seem very happy about it. Gob warned him to watch for kidnappers. Michael then solicited the painters working on the penthouse to help with the lesson. But while he was doing that, Gob confessed everything to George Sr. George Sr. decided to teach Michael a lesson of his own.
   
   And Lindsey and Tobias were back with the arbitrator. Loblaw was mentioning that Tobias couldn’t be at fault, as he had not pursued a relationship outside the marriage, unlike Lindsey, who had been pursuing Bob Loblaw. As the meeting adjourned, Tobias rushed up to Bob Loblaw to thank him for his help and ask if he wanted to spend the evening together. But of course, Bob Loblaw had a date with Lindsey.
   
   At the same time, Maeby was showing her boss the photo of post-op Lucille. He agreed that the face would make a good monster. And George Sr. waited for the fake kidnapping that he knew Michael had organized. The painters knocked down George Sr. and stuffed him into a trunk. Michael turned on a paint shaker to simulate helicopter blades. And, thinking Gob was on his side, Michael set to work trying to turn the living room into a Colombian hut.
   
   When George Sr. finally awoke, the fake kidnappers were so convincing that George Sr. seized one of their guns in a panic and shot off one of the kidnapper’s arms. That kidnapper being… J. Walter Weatherman. When George Sr. thanked Gob for all his help, Michael pounced on Gob. George Sr. grabbed his camera to record the fight, which ended with Michael going over the balcony. And onto a ledge, which had been set up to catch Michael and teach George Sr. a lesson. Seeing the carnage, Buster picked up one of the pistols. Just then, police burst into the penthouse and shot off Buster’s hand. His fake hand. Buster then told a horrified Michael that’s why you don’t use a one-armed person to teach lessons.
    
9. 2 Jan 06 S.O.B.s
   The Bluths were desperate. The press had them all but finished and Bob Loblaw had quit working for the company because of Lindsay’s advances. Michael told the family they needed a new lawyer, which would require a $100,000 retainer. George Sr. wondered where the money would come from, and Lindsay mentioned that Maeby had just been admitted to a new private school called Openings, and she needed a check.
   
   Michael told the family they’d all have to start working. Lindsay’s job would be all the cooking and cleaning around the house. George Sr. suggested throwing a legal defense fund dinner and asking for donations.
   
   Later, at home, Michael was surprised to find that Lindsay actually had started cooking and cleaning. George-Michael came down and nervously told his father that he was taking a quick break from studying for the SATs to grab a cream soda. He also checked the stove that Lindsay was currently using. Tobias observed that George-Michael had become quite obsessive-compulsive lately. He theorized that this was because he was unable to express himself. But in reality, he was simply afraid that Lindsay was going to burn the house down. So he was turning off burners she had left on and cleaning dirty dishes that she had put away. Lindsey suggested sending George-Michael to Openings, but when Michael read a letter from the school about Maeby, he learned she had actually been expelled for never attending class. And it was not a boarding school, despite what Tobias and Lindsay thought.
   
   In reality, Maeby had been away on the set of Snowboarding School 2 as part of her secret studio exec job. Michael lamented that the non-refundable tuition for Openings had been wasted. Seeing George-Michael, Michael thought that perhaps Maeby’s tuition didn’t have to go to waste after all.
   
   Meanwhile, Lucille was at the country club soliciting for the Bluth fundraiser. Just then, Gob arrived and decided to have a laugh by pretending to be a waiter. But Lucille never made eye contact with him, and Gob became trapped by the lunch rush. Back at the penthouse, Michael caught up with his father, who told him that perhaps they needed to get a bunch of celebrities and put on a show at the fundraiser. Michael mentioned that he had an in with Andy Richter, since his brother taught George-Michael at Openings. George Sr. strongly advised against sending his grandson to one of those New Age feelgooderies.
   
   In fact, George-Michael was having trouble expressing himself at Openings. His teacher, Donny Richter, advised him to go home and write something critical about how he feels. Maeby, meanwhile, was about to have a learning experience of her own. When she returned home, Tobias informed her that he was going to be a new, tough dad. If she didn’t want to go to school, she could go to work with him. Except…he didn’t have a job. So together they would create gift bags and send them to every casting agent in town. Something that casting agents hated.
   
   And back at the country club, something unusual happened. Gob was handed his tips. He realized that he had accidentally worked a day in his life. Elsewhere, Lindsay was busy being a mother when somebody who needed one showed up. Buster. And he w